The Grim
by The Shard of Flame Ice
Summary: I am the seer of the earth, the one who watches clothed in shadow. I am the watchman of the path, the one who will end your life. I am the Reaper. Borderline T-M for cursing, Lelouch-Suzaku. Not yaoi. Oneshot. Fear the power of angst. Fear it.


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**AU: Hey! ...Aw screw it, I have no right to just come in and say 'HEY!', and I'm no mood to do it anyway. I'm feeling pretty damn angsty right now, even if it is for some stupid reason.**

**Damn it, my beloved pet almost got killed by a friend's stupidity! All of my pets are like family to me! I have never felt so insulted and afraid, to have my friend disregard common sense for a fucking BlackBerry MSN conversation. **

**Here you go. I poured my frustration and the cold feeling in my gut in this thing. **

* * *

_Humans,_

_ Creatures who roam the earth..._

_Bore witness to their power, I did._

_Bore witness to their evil, I did._

_Bore witness to their souls, I did._

_Humans, creatures who defile the earth._

_Bore witness to their dawn, I did._

_Bore witness to their rise, I did._

_And witness to their downfall, I will be._

_I am Death._

_I am Void._

_I am the End._

_I am the one who stands at the end of the path._

_I am the Grim Reaper._

_I am the one who decides who lives and who dies._

_I am the one who impartially observes humankind._

_Death… _

_Life..._

_Such concepts are meaningless to one such as I._

_For I do not live, nor am I dead._

_An undead I am not. _

_For non-living is just as wrong._

_Eternal, is what I am._

_But to humankind,_

_Life and Death are as different to them as light and shadow._

_And so are their kin._

_For there are no two humans who are the same._

_And so all unlike each other,_

_Forever cursed they are, to turn on each other._

_Father and Son… Siblings… Lovers…_

_All of these words are in truth without meaning._

_For these are all illusions._

_Illusions hold no meaning,_

_When meaning itself is an illusion for personal comfort._

_Humans advocate the importance of life, _

_Advocate equality, love and peace._

_All lies._

In the middle of a wide grassland, I stood. The warm breeze caressed my face, and I closed my eyes, feeling as if ghostly, fleeting fingers trailed my skin with the utmost of care and love. It was late night, but again I could not sleep, for once more thoughts stormed my mind, robbing me of my inner peace and throwing me into turmoil. This feeling was not unknown to me, for I am one who has always despaired. Despaired for my sister, for my friends, for my love and for my plans. I am one who loses control when things do not go as I plan.

Plans. I had always considered myself a master at the art, for crafting uncanny tricks to fell my foes has always been a pleasure of mine. And for as long as I lived, almost all my plans had come to bore fruit precisely as I had decided. The feeling of always being the one to have the last laugh was intoxicating. It is this feeling that often leads me to my overconfidence, which in turn leads me to my downfall. But I have made the gravest mistake of my life yet.

I had faith. I placed my trust on someone whom a brother I would have gladly called. On the border between desperation and insanity, I reached out one last time for my brother, Suzaku. On the brink of losing everything I cared for, of having every single one of my plans be destroyed, of having what I most cared for be taken away from me _again_, I pleaded, begged for him to find it within him help me, to help my sister.

In vain, it was all in vain! I should have known, should have expected it! Suzaku… Suzaku would never forgive me! He was always one to carry a grudge! Even when we attended Ashford Academy, when he said he did not hate the Britannians for abusing him, I knew he lied! In the deepest reaches of his being, Suzaku would always hate all those who went against him! I KNOW! I AM LELOUCH! I AM ZERO! I AM HIS BROTHER! I AM THE ONE WHO WAS LEFT BEHIND BY THE WORLD!

And I am the **fool** who chose to place his trust once more on the backstabber that was Suzaku, the greatest hypocrite I have had the **pleasure **of knowing in my life! And that is saying something, because I have met a great deal of knife-twisting bastards in my measly 19 years!

But never again! I vow, as I open my eyes and gaze at the full moon that shines high in the heavens, that **NEVER AGAIN!**

**NEVER AGAIN! I WILL NEVER AGAIN SHARE MY HEART TO ANYONE ELSE! NEVER!**

**SUZAKU! SUZAKU! SUZAKUUUUUUUU! RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!**

**...**

**..**

**.**

**.**

**..**

…

_Ah…_

_Do you hear it?_

_These are the laments of one such soul._

_One such soul who is victim to another's hand._

_I hear them, always hear these voices._

_Of sorrow and pain, of hate and anger, of grief and despair._

_Of violence and insanity, of darkness and of treachery._

_This is the true nature of mankind._

_And I bear witness to their pain._

_As I also bear witness to their wars._

_Betrayal is the true essence which binds them together._

_For as every alliance is as fleeting as dust that scatters in the wind,_

_So betrayal, is as enduring as I. _

_For I am Death._

_I am Void._

_I am the End._

_I am the one who stands at the end of the path._

_I am the Grim Reaper._

_I am the one who decides who lives and who dies._

_I am the one who dutifully observes humankind._

_And surely you must wonder,_

_What duty must bind one who also wonders,_

_What meaning exists behind the being of humankind?_

_So I answer, _

_To Age-old duty is bound an endless one,_

_Who ponders the vexing paradox that is humankind._

_For in my eternity of existence, to observe is what I do best._

_And so to the soul that screams to the heavens above,_

_In observing their destiny of self-destruction,_

_I found the match to their soul,_

_The one who is to end it._

_Put an end to his life…_

_And bring his soul…_

…_to __**me.**_

Cold, how cold… The metal felt cold as I lied against it, shirtless but ignoring the feeling as best as I could, I closed my eyes, trying but failing, to block out the screams from my mind. Within my mind's eye, I could only see…

Beautiful violet eyes as they filled with indignation and hate, a face of heavenly features contorts into fury as hands that had no right to touch him grapple for his submission. In wonder and morbid fascination I see myself stand there, incapable of heeding his calls, and as he is dragged away to what seems to be a fate I would forever regret leaving him to, I feel my face disfigure itself, and I cry out in pain, collapsing to my knees, as, slowly but surely, I hear not only as sound, feeling, touch and smell defile what I understand of them to their baser forms, but as I try to raise my head to gaze around, I feel as if my body coils like spring, and I hear bones crack and break from my body.

Too horrorstruck and pained to voice anything, I lay there, broken, as his entrancing, but enraged voice distorts, and surely I must be going crazy, for I hear now not only his seething snaps and insults, but slowly, I hear others joining his.

And before long, I lay in what can only be hell. Fire, smoke and brimstone are all around me, and a putrid smell is on the air. And converging upon my miserable soul, the haunting calls of the dead…

"_**Traitor…"**_

"_**Killer…"**_

"_**Destroyer…"**_

"_**Backstabber…"**_

"_**Hypocrite…"**_

"_**Murderer…"**_

And it is not until I am screaming and twisting and hitting and hurting myself with the wall against I had fallen asleep, and until my friends Gino and Anya are trying to stop me from killing myself, and until the doctors and guards arrive in an attempt to tranquilize me, that I truly, **finally **understand, the question Lelouch asked me so long ago, one night that it came out as if out of nowhere, and that I had no way to answer.

Until now. And I still remember so clearly…

"_Suzaku."_

"_Oh, Lelouch. What's wrong, what's with that look?"_

"_Suzaku, have you ever wondered… what is the meaning of life when there is death?"_

"_Of course. Death is our natural fate, so the meaning of life is to make the most of it and live life to the fullest, isn't it?"_

"_From a certain point, it is. However, ultimately, life is a temporary boon, and as such, all things that are realized within a human life are thus inevitably rendered temporary and redundant. When there is life and when there is death, when life is full of pain and suffering and anguish, and when death is so swift and conclusive, tell me again, what is the meaning of living when there is death?"_

"_I… That is…"_

"…_Heh, no answer, eh?_

"_WHAT'S with that question coming out of the blue anyway? Did something bad happen?"_

"_No, not at all. I was just curious…"_

"_Curious? What for?_

"_Nothing", so he said as he turned to leave, "Suzaku, you will surely find the answer someday, within this world that is ruled by treachery."_

"…_You sure say some weird things now and then, Lelouch. You're pretty strange!"_

"…_So maybe I am."_

And once more I cannot help but feel wonder at Lelouch's intuition, for he is truly right. Even as I get up and accept the towel offered to me and dry myself, as I ignore the questioning glances and more direct demands made out of concern for my mental health, I make for the window and gaze long and hard into the full moon. Gaze long and hard to the glowing orb under which vows are made and broken.

And to my brother, I will confess, I finally found the answer.

In this world ruled by treachery, the meaning behind life when there is death…

…**Is non-existent.**

**...**

**..**

**.**

_._

_.._

…

_Ah…_

_A revelation._

_Epiphany occurs, and yet again Fate's gears turn once more._

_Two souls most unique. Two souls most alike._

_Two souls m__ost twined._

_Brothers they are, and Nemesis's to each other as well._

_This paradox born of love and hate, anger and joy, admiration and respect, of distaste and decadence._

_This is the true nature of humankind._

_Father and Son… Lovers…_

_Brothers…_

_All are destined to turn on each other._

_So I have watched the same occur since time immemorial. _

_And so I will continue to witness until the end of time._

_For it is my duty to reap the souls of the living from their bodies,_

_As it is my duty to observe the riddle that poses humankind._

_And so I will continue to observe humans,_

_Who callously desecrate the earth and all that thrives within it,_

_Be it plants or animals, family or friends, enemies or lovers,_

_Until the time the trumpets that hail the end are sound._

_For it is my destiny,_

_As I am Death._

_I am Void._

_I am the End._

_I am the one who stands at the end of the path._

_I am the Grim Reaper._

_I am the one who decides who lives and who dies._

_I am the one who sadly observes humankind._


End file.
